Honey, I printed the kids
They’ve already managed to print a kidney, so it’s only a matter of time. The replicators used are very affordable mods of off-the-shelf inkjets, but the cartridges? You guessed it.
“This is Words Made Real customer service, how may I help?”
“Listen, every time I tell your so-called ‘voice operated replicator’ to have eggs and bacon ready for me in the morning, I wake to a conspicuously absent smell of breakfast and the disturbing presence of yet another one of your creepy service staff.
I don’t know how your people are managing to sneak in to my house every night, and that medieval ‘staff uniform’ looks pathetic, but if this whole thing is not just one great big con-job, why on earth can’t they at least show me how to get the darned machine to do what it’s supposed to do, instead of going on and on about things which sound more like seventeenth century philosophy than replicator instructions?
This whole thing is getting beyond a joke. Look, I’m not stupid, I’ve worked out that this is some kind of family racket, because these ‘service guys’ bear more than a slight resemblance to each other, not to mention to your boss, who sold me this fraudulent contraption.
I’ve had enough. Unless you refund my money immediately and tell your boss’s progeny to get out of here this minute and take this worthless pile of junk with them, I’m going to call the police, do you under… wait a minute. What the… how on earth did you guys get here so fast?”